I'm going on a Sabbatical

What this blog has meant to me...

1. It was a nice way to show the appreciation to my fellow teammates and competitors.
2. It was a way to have fun.
3. It was a way to keep in touch with old and new buds.

Racing has evolved for me recently, I simply want to just go out and represent well and be there for the team, if I reach the podium that's cool, if not, and I helped the team then that's cool too- it really doesn't matter... for those of you who know me well, it serves much more important purposes which I have come to appreciate in way's I'm just starting to comprehend... and furthermore, at the end of the day- I really, really like the community of racers (and bloggers). To everyone out there racing, officiating, commentating, organizing, or just sociallizing, big thanks from me to you...sincerely.

Schaeffer last year told me after Wolf Creek that "winning the race didn't really mean that much." He was looking at the Nationals (which he took). He wasn't just talking, because I know that he was putting in 400 miles a week, obviously not a way to stay fresh... recently he told me he "just wants the race to go hard" and if it doesn't he will go hard... I couldn't have said it better... to reiterate, I really like the competition and just going all out... if I do well- great, if my teammates do well even better and if I get schooled by some random unknown dude who has been on a racing sabbatical (aka Jeff Rauch) even better... because the way I look at it, that is what it's all about... you don't really race against anyone else, you compete against yourself in this sport, you are really competing with yourself, and wherever the chips lie after the race, its written and stamped... and after the race maybe you have gained some more respect and developed it for another rider.

I really enjoy racing and announcing... it's a hard sport, but a pretty simple one also, if you love it hard, it will love you back- don't, and you will reap the consequences of your lack of preparation... anyway, that is all I have to say within the Nest until the sabbatical is over. Most of all, I am thankful for all of the friendships gained, and I look forward to the next hard race for sure...

Cheers,

Hornet

For you mom!

I have never posted a pic of myself on this blog... but I'm going to break that one time for mom... she is awesome to say the least... My step dad, Mr Z (who is pretty cool in his own right) and mom are going to come out and visit me and the grandkindred when I do the live radio updates from the road on ESPN and KFAN for the Tour of Utah in August (thanks again T-Mac!)... so here is an action shot last week taken by non-other than P-Man, notice how well matched the outfit is with the Nest's background... for affect... it was planned!?!

If you want to see more, larger photo's of the Championships click on P-man's website at and just click on the pics for enlargement
http://picasaweb.google.com/canyonteam/UtahCriteriumChampionships2008

State Crit Champ-een-chips!

Had an opportunity to announce the State's... and I am glad I did...


Hey- Kevin Rad-man-inski did the first few races, then we tag teamed the womens pro event and Masters 45+ and finally I went solo for the last few races... Kevin is one super funny dude... in my next life I'm gonna go to whatever college the Rad-man attends fo' sure... at times I couldn't do commentary I was laughing so much...



First off the pro ladies... and they put on a great show... fireworks ery'where... Park City had the numero's so they did what they should... attacked the bejusus out of the group... Kirsten, Nisie, Tiffany...ect time and time again...the Ski Utah gals hung really tough... Laura Howat was not to be denied, she covered at least the first 15 attacks single handedly... and Laura Patten did a great job in the next group getting hit by the Parkies... in the end Nisie blasted it, but Pizz-gal helped out off of the back and both were DQ'ed... there was no doubt that they thought it was a legal move doing it infront of the judges... now we all know that it isn't that was unfortunate... any way the Kot-adian took it with Howatinater in second... great race by all the ladies... and we did notice the the yomen's like efforts of Intermountain trying valiently to bring it back the entire race... anybody that missed this race really missed out on a good one... thanks for the show!



Next Master's 45+



The first half of this crit can be stated in these two words... Manitoba Missle... that's right Louis Riel did his thing and TT'ed off the front forever... which made Mr Mckone, Mr Armstrong Mr Schaeffer, Mr Worsoki, Mr Adams and others work. When they finally caught him Team Canyon Bikes Draper sent others to attack immediately... in the end Mckone (who rode one of the smartest, coolest races I have seen) took it over a fired up Gary Swain who had a last minute mechanical... these guys hammered all day with all the big names taking turns digging it out in the front including Steve "Chop's" Lewis' one last effort... Another great race with a ton of action...



Masters 35+



This is a pretty simple one... Scott Martin likes deep space 9. Because, that's all he did was do his best impression off the Manitoba Missle... only Scott Allen was gun slingin on his tail 90% of the time for the first 1/2 of the race, then other smaller attacks occured, but nothing stuck... Mckone drove a lot more in the race, as did other 45's on the second race like "the Killer" Steve Worsoki, who may be small but will drill it at the front relentlessly and Glen "Damnhesfast" Adams... The Hanseen was on form taking a big flyer off the front toward the end, yet still garnered the 3 spot after Stan "the man" Price and the victor Mr. Best who had a mad sprint in the end to finish the job...

Cat 3's

The Cat 3's race was a lot different ... about 15 of them were strong enough to make the break, then they raced somewhat conservatively... choosing to use more tactics in the last few laps to see just who's got it in the sprint. (Which typically this year has several riders contesting pretty closely) Schofield who has been riding really strong did a good portion of work as well as others... good to see Clint Eastwoodarter back... he went on a long solo but didn't have the legs to sustain after the time off... my bet was on A.O. but his teammate Mr. O'Leary pulled it off over another second place finish of the day for Gary "Gimmiesomemore" Swain... O'leary was impressive especially after doing a lot of work the last few laps and then still pull it off...

Men's 1-2's

Big field with big guns... a lot of smiling until Gary started it... then bam... as in Peter-sack! Chris just went to the front and drove it for laps... riders were strung out over 150 meters... eventually he took a breather only to do it over again! The typical players from the typical teams took there digs to no avail, only a few riders dropped off but many were suffering... then a big pile up resulted in the yellow flag mid way through the race for a few laps... Gary and I let the pack know in advance when racing would resume at the start line- (which was hillarious) ery'one had their poker faces on, just chatting and laughing away and as soon as the first wheel crossed that line--instantanously not a peep to be heard and pedals to the metal! Finally a group with Pietrzak, Hoffman teammate Perry, Mr Lille and Barrett with teammate Ben D'Hulst got away and had over a 20 second gap to the chasers... Contender and FFKR took hard turns trying to get them back all the way to the end, which they might have been able to pull off if the Turbo didn't launch with one lap to go... that was quite ballsie to say the least- with those dudes chasing... anyway he held it for the trophie with Pietrzak closing it hard coming in just behind for a well earned second, after doing a ton of work, that dude is crazy strong right now... of note- whatever R.B. pays Big Ben it's not enough... as written in his blog... Ben did a ton of work to bridge a lot of attacks, drive a few to then only periously hold on for dear life, then do it time and again... Big Ben has arrived... and he may even get more aero than R.B. (being that they are both a combined 13 feet tall and probably tipping the scales south of 3 bills...

L8ter...

There's an old saying in cycling...

it's all in the head baby, it's the way you look at it...

Sorry M.M. but everyone knows the new 3's, 6's and 9's are smokin'!

East Canyon

First things first... this is only a race... I need to put this one in perspective because it still burns... in the past few weeks we have seen guys go down hard with injuries that will side line them for a while. As well as other serious health issues that have hit a local cycling icon, and another's child... that is what really matters... Godspeed in a fast recovery to each.

Frustation, with a capital F... that's it in a nutshell- cut to one simple turnaround... at the turnaround... legs fresh, able and ready, I got boxed to the inside as the 35's and 45's merged into one big cluster... a group of about eight 35's got out and drilled it to grande gapage, while a few of us were trying to negotiate through the 45 pack... to which a violent effort off of the 45's (which isn't easy with Schaeffer and Armstrong pushing the pace) then to continue on with long hard pulls couldn't quite get us back on the train... game over but, not without a fight...

The highlight was, by launching off the front of the 45's to chase down the ocho amigo's, we got to ride next to Louis " Cancellera's bro separted at birth" Riel for a bit...he was TTing off the front of the 45's forever (every one was cheering him on as we checked out the 56X9 he was pushing into the headwind), also got to play cat and mouse with some of the 45+ chasers who ended up trying to bring back the lead group, lead out by Mr. Shaeffer, Zimbelman and the Claw, who were none other than Armstrong and the "Good Doctor" Longe... read on for the fun stuff...

At one point on the last flat section me and my Mazda Posse where side by side with Armstrong and the Doc, two synchronized pace lines one 35+ and one 45+... tyring desperately to bring back each lead group respectively, hoping we might catch on, if they end up doing the 1k dosey-do infront of us... the funny thing is one of the dropped 35+ riders who we caught (no name will be mentioned) decided that the rules didn't apply to him and was sucking wheel to the 45+ wheel chase group of Armstrong and Doc, like a hungry calf suckling momma's teet when we caught them... only to continue doing so even though Doc was telling him to stop time and again... and on top of this, we were watching him in amazement separated horizontally by two feet to the left... it gets better, if we passed the 45's he would suck our wheels and vice versa, switching back and forth... at the end, after I did long pull number 107, wheelsucker went flying by me to take the line, fortunately Porterlicious passed him... cuz I certainly couldn't, being that I spent my last bullet 30 pulls before... the entire episode was kind of sureal, like "hey guys I"m cheating, see! Check it out-and just wait until I pip you at the line"... I guess if you choose to ride like that, it's best to do it with gusto and gleen pride in a job well done! Compared to the turn around fiasco this really didn't matter that much to me, and to a certain extent it was kind of entertaining, it broke the monotany for sure, but I will say this... is it really worth it for 8th or 9th or whatever position? In the big scheme of things it's simply not that important, and it's certainly a quick way not to be invited to Lagoon for the next birthday bash with chocolate cake and noise makers...

Oh well, but I did really get to see two great races from just about every vantage point througout the race, I might not ever get to see that again... it was I was watching all the action on the tele with a beer in hand, of course minus the beer...

Be safe out there...

This should help, but it's not very aero...



This guy actually made this for his daughter for her prom dress...

The psych and pfizz of cycling...

Great job to Ski Utah, Jeremy Smith and the officials for a great race... The TT was really rad with those crazy roller coasters...

Hope Mr Garage is fairing well, he's tough, when I rode by he had blood all over him yet was walking around I wasn't sure if it was real, since I was somewhat delerious at that point... apparently the Hoov did a literal flip over him, yet he and his bike were ok to continue on but Mr Polka Dot had a knee the size of a grapefruit, get well fast my man...

The plan was to put someone out on a break on Stagio uno with 15 miles left, that guy wasn't me. But, within seconds at mile 2 into the race it just seemed right, so I figured I would be the sacrificial lamb for the sake of the team... I pegged it to a HR of 175+ and unfortunately had to keep it there for the entire race to keep my speed up enough to hold off the pack... So this was new, I have been on breaks that have stuck with 2 or 3 guys, but none solo... my expectations weren't high to say the least... so I tried not to think (which I am rather good at I'm told) and just focused on running through inspirational race stuff in my head, like Cooke, Schaeffer, Riel, Porter,Treasure and the Skarpohl sticking long solo attacks in races I was in... that's it, nothing more, keep it simple... and big thanks to all the officials, for their support at each turn around telling me I could do it, and P-man, Hoov and the rest of the team for the cheers, these little things kept me going for sure... my body rebelled after 58 or 59 miles, teammates Andre and Scott caught me at 3k to go and pulled me to 1k until I told them to go hard, because I couldn't hang on any longer and we were only 45 seconds ahead of the field... afterwards I felt like I got hit by a truck, a big truck... I knew I blew my load and wondered how I was ever going to do a TT feeling like this in a few hours.

All my teammates and friends were great and did everything they could to work on my brain, with Scottie finally throwing me the comment of the year right before I took off on the roller coaster, and it worked, I prob did the best I could considering...

Stage 3 we had numbers on our side, and we used it... I was on a break with Chuck from Wyoming and did no work because I didn't want to overtake my teammates for the GC. So the whole time I just tried to keep him motivated letting him know that he could stick it and I would'nt contest him that guy has a lot of heart for sure... Well Mark Larson who was a horse, and Hanseen (we'll get back to him later) reeled him in with a great effort with one lap to go... then Scott attacked right off the front several times, Mark had more in his tank and attacked a couple of times, Andre then attacked hard, and I being fresh attacked for longer digs several times , always with Hanseen locked on... we could not break Hanseen, he was so super catlike fast catching any and all accelerations, more so than anyone else... at 1k to go I went hard to the outside, Hanseen had to work to reel me in and did with 900m to go, I kept on surging, Hanseen was right there, then Andre and Scott squeeked by with Hanseen on their wheels... I gotta tell you Hanseen was a beast, he would not break and was there at the end contesting, what a total stud.

and that is what I am talking about, when everybody brings their "A" game they motivate and raise the expectations of the group, individuals raise their game more, the group gets better as a whole and more competitive outside our little area. For me this race was a lot more in the head than in the body, and I can thank all the aforementioned guys before and during this race for the inspiration to perserve and improve... thanks, cause in the end it's really just you against you regardless of whatever circumstance you find yourself in...so to Hanseen, that's my cycling take on Zeitgeist...

Marek

I called the UCA Crit number yesterday and Nicole, Marek's wife answered.

Most racers probably know by now that Marek had a stroke. Man that hits home. I mean he is not old, and he is certainly not out of shape, and I don't see him chain smokin' Camel unfiltered cig's at the crits... so what gives?

Marek may not know this, but I owe a lot to him. I decided last year that I would like to try announcing Cyclo-Cross and Sadaharaohran said "give it a shot." I showed up for my first gig at RMR and Marek already had the C flight going. He had the mic, was announcing alone and needless to say was awesome... I, on the other hand, was just a tad bit better than stupendouly horrible. But, he kept on jumping in and giving me tips... by the end of the day I was alright... Not once did he even remotely make me feel like the chump I was, he just kept on adding great commentary that was pretty damn entertaining.

This year, it appears as if, not only with the crits, but also for the TT's, we are gaining even more momentum with larger fields in comparison to years past. Pretty impressive when you consider the weather hasn't really co-operated... No doubt Marek's guiding hand has had a lot to do with it. He's a pretty even keeled dude who has his act together to make sure the races go smoothly from start to finish. This is due to not only his enthusiasm for the sport, but also his keen business acumen.

At this time Marek's physical recovery is going quite well and has even made it out of SICU back to his casa on the bench. Nicole told me that he does enjoy visitor's and it will definately help speed his recovery. So let's all give back a little bit to a guy that helps make our training a lot more enjoyable...

So the Hornet is raising a full necked ice cold Grolsch for you brother Shon, I will visit early next week. And even more importanly you should know that everyone I have spoken to, all have you in their prayer's for a speedy and full recovery. We want to see your smiling face again soon, and I need you to hold me back at the TT's to keep my start legal, my track stands are lame at best!!!

Godspeed.

No it's not Johnny Damon

File this under "Creative Opportunistic Marketing Techniques"

This one's for you Rico!

Team Rico eats up the whole 'cross enchilada... in fact he not only eat's it up, he sleep's and dream's about it. One of his favorite things is the whole cowbell armada that shows up week to week to cheer the combatants on. Well here is the official "Cowbell Lady"... we'll see if we can get Matt Sadaharaoh-ran to enlist her.

Maybe Rico can find out where she got her hat, for Mrs Team Rico to dawn at races (and everywhere else) for that matter...got a feeling if she gets one, there may be a lot more little Team Rico's in the future...if ya know what I mean... don't get too exited Eric, hope you have a shower at Specialized so you can take a long cold one brother...

Bunnies that I dig

It got me!

It got my Em, it got my Ben, it came back and got 'em twice, it got the neighborhood... it got a lot of my vet's... but it didn't get me... it tried and it tried but no way... until last Wednesday, boom the nasty virus hit me like a runaway train I tell ya.

The doc said I probably had it longer, by the looks of it... worst sinus infection swelling up the nares she has ever seen, came post viral splurge of headaches and fun... oh yeah, on my way to the doc's office, opened up my sunglasses (had since college) and bang! The glasses split in two over the nose piece has I was placing the shades on my face, and yes, you guessed it! The sharpe shard of plastic hit me square in the right eye. I thought I got shot by 007! It scared the bejesus out of me... Needless to say I got a big gash across my cornea, BAM! Have 20- somethin' bad vision in my unlucky eye, but it should heal just fine by the weekend, gotta go back to bed... later... I'll try not to rip off my ear tonight. I must've really ticked off St. Pat last year...

Finally, directions that make sense

Reprinted from the Onion...

WASHINGTON, DC—Decrying needlessly confusing directions for the use and assembly of countless products, citizens across the nation are organizing advocacy groups to demand that American manufacturers simplify the instructions they place on packaging.

Above: A new and improved Kellogg's cereal box featuring clearer instructions.

"I'm a busy father of three," said Richard Graham of Chester, VA. "I don't have time to wade through all those words and confusing pictures on the box of flavored instant-oatmeal packets. Why can't I just get the bowl of hot oatmeal without going through so much trouble?" On behalf of dissatisfied consumers like Graham, the Washington-based activist group Citizens for Easier Instructions has delivered an ultimatum to corporations: Replace current directions with easier versions or face a consumer boycott.

"We demand that product manufacturers provide their customers with intuitive, easy-to-follow directions featuring larger pictures, color coding, shorter words, and no words at all where a letter, number or pictograph would suffice," CEI director Melanie Pruitt said Tuesday at a press conference kicking off the group's "Crusade For Clarity '99" campaign. "For too long, the people of America have stared blankly at monochromatic, densely printed lines of instructions on cans, bottles and boxes, straining to digest the elaborately worded directives. We say, 'no more.'"
Pruitt, who nets a six-figure salary as one of the country's top instruction-clarity advocates, then unveiled a large placard showing the multi-step instructions on a can of Chef Boyardee beef ravioli. "The first instruction, 'Empty contents into saucepan,' is only the first problem with this mind-bogglingly byzantine label," Pruitt said. "No clue is offered on how to retrieve these 'contents' from the hard, silvery shell surrounding them. In fact, our research staff has determined that a tool not included with the can is necessary." Moving further along the label, Pruitt noted additional directions which would pose comprehension problems for the average consumer: "'Stir occasionally until hot,' the label instructs. How often is 'occasionally'? If I only prepare ravioli 'occasionally,' should I not stir at all?"

Perhaps the label's most confusing factor, Pruitt said, was the existence of two separate series of instructions, depending on the heating device used. "The already-baffling 'Stir occasionally until hot' is not even properly identified as the final instruction in the stove-top-specific set of instructions before the text flows right into the second set, making the cook think that the next step in the preparation process is 'Microwave,'" Pruitt said. "The second set of instructions is even more paradoxical, demanding such tasks as, 'Stir once during heating,' despite the fact that the food product is heated in a microwave which ceases to function if it is opened to get at the food."

To avoid a consumer boycott, Pruitt recommended that the maker of Chef Boyardee print the words, "Requires can opener, saucepan, stove and electrical power" on the front of every label in large letters, and present the instructions in the form of pictographs showing a gender-neutral stick figure traveling sequentially through all the steps of preparation, from opening the can to emptying the product into the saucepan, all through the cooking process, transferring the contents from the saucepan to a serving dish, and finally consuming the food using appropriate utensils. "We believe the entire process can be rendered in as few as 22 pictographs, which could be large enough to be easily read if printed on the inside of the label," Pruitt said. "All that would be needed is an exterior instruction directing the preparer to remove the label and read the full, interior instruction set."

"Corporations that fail to respond to the changing needs of Americans will lose customers," she added. "We as a people no longer have the time or patience to read lines of text and struggle to decipher their meaning."

Manufacturer Procter & Gamble has already announced it will soon introduce new "EZ 2 Follow" instructions that will clearly spell out "even the simplest and most obvious of operations." The redesigned Old Spice aftershave lotion bottle, company representative Albert Conrad said, will feature explicit instructions regarding where and how to apply the lotion, as well as warnings not to drink Old Spice or use it as a marinade in cooking. Sheets included in other Procter & Gamble products will warn against eating Crisco straight from the can, squirting Vicks NyQuil into one's eyes, or re-using Tampax products. Many other corporations have already made moves toward similar changes based on the overwhelming number of questions and complaints they receive at their 800 numbers every day.

"I used to answer 30 to 40 calls a day from people asking what 'Apply liberally' meant," said Carla Enway, an operator for Coppertone. "My job has been a lot easier since we changed the bottle to read, "Spread a whole bunch all over everything but your eyes and mouth."

Hey it's Hainey in about 50 years...

Local hardman Lee Hainey has a big beard too, and rips it on the bicyclette, but he's just a young'un, wait till he grows up like this dude who retired when he was 97, got bored and went back to work at 99... and he has 17 kids!!! Man, if I had 17 kids I would have had a coronary at about the 11th one... here's the full tilt- read on...

Wed Mar 5, 11:47 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Already Britain's oldest employee, 101-year-old Buster Martin now aims to become the world's oldest marathon runner by completing the London Marathon and celebrating with a pint of beer and a cigarette.

Sprightly and bearded, he completed a half marathon at the weekend in five hours 13 minutes. The former Army physical training instructor works three days a week for a London plumbing firm and says he has trained for the April 13th race in his spare time. "I've said I'll attempt it," he told Reuters by telephone from his workplace at Pimlico Plumbers. "I haven't said I'll complete it. If I do make it, all the better. I hadn't thought of doing it before but someone asked me and the money goes to charity so why not?"

His sponsorship money will go to the Rhys Daniels Trust, which provides temporary accommodation for families of patients in specialist children's hospitals. Martin, who had 17 children and returned to work at the age of 99 saying he was bored after two years of retirement, would beat the previous record for world's oldest marathon runner by eight years."If I finish, I'll do what I always do and have a pint and a fag," he said. "People ask what is my secret but I haven't got one. They say fags and booze are bad for you -- but I'm still here, aren't I?"

(Reporting by Peter Apps, editing by Paul Casciato)

Ed note- key words kids- fags and booze, so I guess if you smoke, drink and use cool British slang, then you too will be running marathons when you are triple digits...

Help!

Don't know if I will make the crit this weekend, I am having a bit of trouble boarding my flight back from Nigeria...

Oh yeah, get a load out of the Airline "Blue Sky Aviation," I think not! It's more like Brown Hot Landing Strip Goin' Nowhere For A Spell Air... and worse yet the third one in keeps on eyeing me and he looks a tad hungry... I'm going to blast him with my CO2 cartridge if he comes at me (the Man Vs Wild dude has nothing on this Hornet)

Two days-two Hall of Famer's

Bart Gillespie, has a sweet write up on him in VeloNews, just follow this link http://www.velonews.com/article/73012/gillespie-emmett-win-intermountain-cup-opener

If you are one of the few who doesn't know Bart, here is the down and dirty...

• He goes 140lbs and puts out the watts of a race horse.
• He trains on his way to work and back, which he does throughout the year.
• He trains himself on feel, without the use of a HR monitor or wattage meter.
• He works full time at the VA Medical Center and treats the Vet's like he would treat his mother.
• He also teaches at the U.
• He is wicked awesome in all aspects of riding, cross, mt and road.
• He ripped to a 7th last year at the cross nat's when placed in a back row to start.
• He doesn't require any food or sleep (for you Sly).

And to top it off, as mentioned, he just had another nice spread in VeloNews for winning the Desert Rampage, way to go, and also to local Kathy Sherwin, 2nd place Women Pro's.... others represented well also, too many to mention, but two Canyon Boy's Scott Allen first in 30+ expert and Curt "gottabehip" Bates 2nd in Expert 40+....

Everyone raise a brew for Bart-mang, the 40hr+ working man's version of a nationally elite rider... To the Hornet Hall of Fame you go...

Bryson Perry is R.A.D.D.

Bryson rode with the team on Saturday. Bryson was one of the anchor's for Sienna last year. He has split off to form the R.A.D.D. racing team. Some of the crew are the recently pared-down G-Love, Mr Red Sox, Cameron "wheresHoffa-man," Mitch "Icantcallhimcopperanymore" Peterson and some fast dude from Mexico that lives in So-Cal.

R.A.D.D. stands for Racers Against Drugs & Doping, undoubtedly most appropriate on several fronts. The team was established to do more national races, which Bryson did a couple years back when he was with the Successful Living team.

Anyway, to put it mildly, Bryson showed so much class on Saturday with me personally, that not only am I a grande fanno now, but I'm placing him in the the Hornet Hall of Fame for his extrodinary unsolisited efforts to help another rider... Bryson is a great cyclist no doubt, but he's an even better person. Kudo's, also go out to teammates Andre the Giant, Coop, P-man the Claw and the rest of the Canyon Boy's for a worthy effort as well as the Porc crew for bringing it during the swell end of the day road fest...

Ed note- called Gardie while in Sadonna, and conveyed my thoughts about Bryson, and they were reiterated 10 fold, then asked the G-man about his weight loss "man I've got to try to keep up with these guys who are 15 years younger than me"... so the new Action Jackson is now a whooping 155lbs, my bet he'll be sub 150 by the end of the season, cause he's still got that excess mass in the pectoral region to drop...

You can be green, fiscally sound and patriotic, introducing the USS New York

Here SHE is, The USS New York (LPD 21), made from the World Trade Center ! The USS New York was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the WorldTrade Center. It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft. Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003 , 'those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence,' recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. 'It was a spiritual moment for everybody there.' Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the 'hair on my neck stood up.' 'It had a big meaning to it for all of us,' he said. 'They knocked us down, they can't keep us down. We're going to be back.' The ship's motto? 'Never Forget.'

Huge Relief, Swet and friends...

Wednesday was a great day, got out with my girl "Huge Relief" for the first time this year... Was pretty stoked on having a great team ride in 60 degree weather on Saturday, now it looks like snow, but I am locked and loaded! My good bud, Swet from Iceland (in pic) just shipped me the new 8 cylinder Icemaner Sno-blaster 1250, it gets 16mpg...

Swet is smokin fast, he was the '06 Icelandic Icelocross national champ (a hybrid of cyclocross) with modified tires and bicyclette, see pic below...

His mechanic Pletrak "the Plad" (above) has this machine greased lighting aero... really "strumkedad" (stomping), just look at those beefy titanium hubs with the varied front boot wheel for grip and the lighter "sneek" back wheel for full on throttle... and it's even Chuck (Taylor) pedal ready, damn!... Notice the large panier on the back (thats to hold large slabs of meat) for longer races... no need to frigerate in the grand blanche nord...

Another little known fact with regard to Swet's sucess, he gets motopaced by the famous Gertrk Vklllommtkrrz or (G-Vkl as per his groupies)...that's him- below pic... this guy is 81 and is sub 4% body fat, just look at that ripped chest, notice where his shoulders connect to his upper arms, it forms two bat like wing triangles, that no doubt, has got to keep the wind focused over the "wings" to keep him grounded when at high speeds... kind of like a spoiler on a car... no wonder why he is generally considered one of the best motopacers around (Rock Racing wants him bad) that's of course, when he gets out of the clink for public nudity...

And give him a break, he's not completely nude! He's got his helmet and goggles on for safety, and is donning his wedding band (so the young ladies won't come callin'), I don't know how his wife Fridreeek puts up with him. Although he is a mans-man... Iceland's version of Charles Bronson, I say!

(ed note- Pletrak denies all allegations brought on by Mavik that he had inside information regarding their front boot wheel technology... and has the design dynamics and San Diego wind tunnel test notes to contest any allegations of such)

Papa's got a new bag

I've got a new ride, uncle Bob (in pic) just delivered it... I can fit a couple of lasses (or one really big'un) on the back of this bad boy... course real men don't use training wheels, what's up with that? And it run's on moonshine... so I figure I got that goin' for me... ' cause I do try to go bio-fuels whenever possible...

I saw it three months ago on the internets and Bob picked it up for me last week in Kentucky. I'm so happy I could just spit, parties at my house!

When Performance Enhancers Go Wrong, Way Wrong!

Happy Valentines day

I think now that Heff is an Octagenarian he may need to tighten up his annual eye exams... Chandi (the one in the center) has the serious full-on Z-man woodsman's facial hair growth look goin' on... hope she isn't on tap for the Mitchell MLB Steroid Investigation... She kind of looks like the cycling version of Johnny Damon!

One!

One, uno, ein... whatever...

One used to be good, as in you're number one! But, one can also be bad, in fact horrendous.

Gee, here's a wee example- win 18 games straight and lead with 35 seconds left of the last and most important game... THAT'S 1159 MINUTES 25 SECONDS OF UNDEFEATED... only to lose. Nothing against the G-men, they played inspired ball, made the big plays and frankly out-coached "the coach"... man, I used to like the number one, but when you add it to 18 with a black dash inbetween, it doesn't quite have the same affect.... 35 SECONDS, ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! What is this the Yankee's - Sox circa "78. Is Eli's middle name "Bucky?"

What's goin' on? I'll never hit my quota!

The waitress at this diner deserves a big tip...

The Question

From time to time I am asked "will you go on a blind date"... to which I refer to my last one, which occured a few years back...







It started here...










and it ended about here...


'nough said?

Od to Camp George

Did the 6th annual Canyon Bicycle Team Camp last week. It was pretty cool.

Several things stick out, Mike Pratt's generosity, Mark Miller's connections with excellent accomodations, good and plentiful nurishment... and of course the Claw's commitment to the team with the overall "oganization of motivation," the cool new guys on the team, Andre, Coop, Gary, Piotr, Sten-Q, and Tom, as well as the local vocal support wherever we rode, and of course how many CB'ers were already race ready for the serious accumulated efforts and milage, NIIIICCCCEEEEE...

I don't know who ordered the weather, but the luck of the Irish was on us (probably Hoov), we hit the window between the storms and had weather in the high 40's and low 50's, with a lot of sunshine.

Pratt had the new Benz limo in full display, man that thing is smooth as silk, and the post ride extra-cirricular's were even better!!! Here's to riding hard, the rockin' Elks and the slammin' Oasis... getting 3 hours of sleep with da true gamers... Mike, Rob, Andre, Gary, Tony, Karen, Zack and the fam...grass stains, push ups, low riding (I think I feel a breeze) and friendly locals... next time we will have to improve our card skills a tad... but our beverage consumption, and dance floor bow skills were on fo' sure.

To Mike, Claw and Mark, way to go amigo's, and to the rest of the team... thanks you guys (and our lovely national champ)...you are Hoover awesome!

Georgie rules!

The Sandy Spin Queen just submitted this into the nest, I liked it so much I posted it, hope you like it too!


GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2008


New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff "you" want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili... Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his tail will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the weanie. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge weanie!

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN! number , pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your tail. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'

Bob

My friend Bob has no luck whatsoever, poor guy... read on mi amigo's...

Bob is a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family biz. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

ed note- las amiga's are mucho better at estate planning than los amigo's!

B-Horn

P-man called me out- so here are my five thangs

Cinco things you didn't know about me.


1. I am an illegal immigrant from New Hampshire

2. I am on the witness protection program, and serve as the organization's live spokesman for media relations.

3. I wear a toupe... on my chest.

4. I was once told to go out for indoor track... so I did of course, relying on pure talent without any training or coaching. My first race was in the bubble at UNH. I ran the 800 meters by sprinting the first 400 at 100% and dusting the field by 50 meters, then I subsequently hit the wall soon after, and got passed by the entire field as I jogged (more like flogged) the last 200 meters- to the roar of the crowd, my teammates and coaches.

5. I won the annual URI Air Band Competition with my buds by impersonating Dale Bozzio (the femme fatal blonde lead singer) of Missing Persons infront of a crowd of 2,500 **while wearing a mini shirt, stilleto pumps a blond wig, lots of paint and some well placed inserts (see Dale below) and at http://www.dalebozzio.org/dalecontents.html ... for two years after I heard, hey you were the guy...

Miss Julie would have been jealous of me fo' sure!

2008

New years resolutions that I think I can keep.

1. Bathe

2. Dry off

3. Shave

at least monthly...

I've got a feeling I can put these babies to task... most of the time. Oh yeah, and brush my tooth's, both of 'em! That's about it, I don't want to stress myself out like last year, when I committed to trying to think on a daily basis.