Friday, August 31, 2007

Tomorrow will be...


-will have a trail of fire eminating from his wheels... the Manitoba Missle has been eating lightnin' and poopin' thunder... this bad, bad man is going to lay down one blistering time. The Skull's in the Valley will be yapping once and for all...

Monday, August 27, 2007

Paul Tracy Part Deux- Sanpete style.

How do you spell pain - P.A.U.L T.R.A.C.Y... simply stated after Sat's race even my hair hurts...

The Canyon boy's did a great job doing the tactical things at first, then it was go time... 2 on 2 with Andre Gonzalez and myself matched up with Jim "Wingman" Robbins and Steve "Hazardous material" Kircher (sorry I forgot the nickname but it works). From this point on it was a hard paceline going forward, non-stop... these guys are horses, or more accurately Mustangs... they would have just kept on going... even if everyone blew up... until they ended up in the Atlantic off of Maine...

Jim was relentless, and Steve's elastic band never unwound. At the end Steve wanted to drag race at 1000 meters, I cramped badly at 1200, he wanted to wait for me, huh? I implored him to take it (he deserved it). I had to pedal in right footed (that must have looked pretty ugly). I made it in, only to cramp for the next 1/2 hour. This is not an excuse, this is simply the fact of trying to pace with those cylclodroids...well it didn't kill me... so I must be stronger. Thanks Canyon gang for all of the hard work, Andre for being there and sticking it out and to the P.T. guys for putting the big hurt on... I'm just glad Mike "Chickey" Anderson decided to just sit in... Seriously, thanks guys for another "lesson," school was definately in session.

Congrat's to solid Ben Nichols for winning his first Cat 3 race (after coming soooo close) and to Spence DeBry, great race and even better sportsmanship bra.

The Mazda 45+ crew had a pretty good day taking 1-3 and 5. When Gary Porter is acting as a domestique...enough said. Teammate Louie Riel was outnumbered but worked his Canadian Bacon off regardless of group numbers, nice job...

Last but not least, T-Mac was in the house and he looks pretty good... needless to say his mere prescense was insirational and a sight for sore eyes... Raise a big Dave Harward Kiev Brewha for Mr Terry... In fact two or three for the dude, I can't think of anyone more worthy!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Stuff about the characters of the '07 TdG

Let's start with the Cat 1-3 ladies...being that it was kind of hot at the crit... they were walking around in tank tops and bikini's before the race... ok, maybe an exaggeration... anyway these gals are really fit, I'm glad I had sunglasses on. Seriously, the hard work shows ladies.

Keeping on the same subject, Can-Am Kirsten Kotval (ex-national crit champ) was tooling around the wacked corner at the crit, when her front wheel just went perp out of nowhere. She hit really hard. It looked just like one of the crashes in Euro-land when the sprinters are lining it up. She landed on her caboose and just sat there stunned, got up, was moved to the ambulance where they bandaged her up on her caboose, leg and arm...then put goop on her fat lip... her bike and carbon wheels were fine, so she got back on her bike to cool down... She is one tough chick, and don't worry Kirsten-swooners, she still looked fine with her big ol' lip... and she's alright- her biggest concern after the crash was for the other riders that crashed behind her, that's class. By the way, the cause of the mechanical- looks her Specialized chain ring on her Tarmac SL gave out, so if that's your ride, Specialized will switch it out fo' fee with a Dura-ace set up... take heed!

Nicole Evans got 6 minutes on the field in the first climbing stage (with only 10 days of training in her legs after the mono-episode), she stayed with the lead pack in the crit, yet before the stage 4 TT she was lined up in one-spot, apparantly she had some serious der. prob's in stage 3. Typical Nicole, smiling ear to ear before and after the TT, who would have known.

Chuck Collins rules! I will say it again, Chuck Collins rules... he must have either taught at, or attended the Luscious Jackson School of Motivation. I, like many have seen C.C. when he is on... no matter what, he is just a good guy, got me pumped up to continue to press hard on stage one...thanks Chuck, hope I can be half as motivational when you can use it bra.

The Claw- this is the second time I have called the Claw out... whatever this guy didn't get in natural talent he clawed (like that) his way through hard work and persistance. Every year he gets better and better at climbing, breakaways, crits and TT'ing, and when it comes to the latter in the 45+ he is right there already... so for the newbies... if you want to get good, and it doesn't come overnight, well just work your tail off until you are, or forever hold your claw (sorry).

Don Armstrong is Ford tough, what are they putting in the water up there? These guys are bad-bad men... Don, when Mark Schaeffer is "worried" about you, you gotta be good, oh yeah and John McWin had the same thing to say... I want to see you and Porter go 10 rounds in the ring, don't know who would win but...what a fight that would be. I don't think Mike McDonald would approve, but I'll only take 10% of the share...

Last, but not least, this is all about Andrey Yarbrough. Andrey used to be the race organizer for the Tour de Gap, he lives in Brian Head with his lovely racer lady Utahna. Andrey races, big deal right? Well yeah it's a big deal when riding and minding his own biz he gets plastered by a truck! OK, a Mack Truck! Better yet a Mack Dump Truck! He did, and has the scars all over to prove it... too many injuries to name including titanium plates in his head... interesting fact- he used to put out 400 watts for 6min's at 147 lbs (calculate that P-man)... anyway he was the main reason the break worked in stage 3. For the first 10 miles he was a mad-man, I got a glimpse of what those 400 watts must have looked like burning rubber... by the way, he is looking at setting up a race in St. George in the spring that goes through Ivans, and up though the climbs.... more later... thanks Andrey, thanks Utahna.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Blue Train and synchronized critting

The Tour de Gap was eventful to say the least. First off, the Paul Tracy Team from Las Vegas was in full force with Louie Amelburu and Mark Schaeffer at the wheel...They brought the A-team, and the team was large... with that I would like to focus on one stage in particular... the crit.

Note- this blog has always been intended to be an observation of racing and racers, not on me, but I must use a first person perspective to give a clear picture of tactics played out perfectly... and this will be done in bullet points for effect...

Paul Tracy shows up with a lot of gunslingers for the 35/45 masters categories.

  • and yes, they are representing with some cat 1's...
  • and yes, they employ great tactics
  • and yes, these riders are willing to sacrifice at anytime for the sake of the team.
  • and yes, these riders are good, very good.
  • and they came with the full aramada of Paul Tracy signifigant others- PTG (Paul Tracy Groupies) generally hanging around the Paul Tracy Mobile and being great fans... to everyone.

To the crit- bottom line this was a lesson in tactics played out to perfection...we will refer to it as synchronized critting. The course was small, tight and fast with a funky corner...encompassing roughly one city block, so you knew where everyone was- and here is where it gets good...follow along...

Scott Allen was sitting in 3rd, and I was in 5th... with P.T. dudes, Louie 1st, Mike Anderson 2nd and Jon Edwards 4th... so what do they do- of course isolate Scott and I... Scott had 2 dudes with him on the break, I had 3 or 4 with me behind... it was like a clock with the little hand going slower than the big one...after a series of attacks they dropped Scott, and he was isolated exactly on the opposite end of the course from me (to the tee as far away as possible) my P.T. men were pacing me appropriately to make this happen, always waiting for Louie and Mike to come around, I knew this, I also knew that here would come the attacks... so I only had one choice, suicide on the bike! I looked back and said to Jim Robbins, "well it looks like I'm dead meat, so I am going to attack until I implode" which I did lap after lap until with perfect timing, just when I popped, all the P.T. guys were together in one big blue train...going fast, very fast...

The point is, any team can show up en-force, but to put it together like that was just poetry in motion, and yes, the other team's riders not mentioned were also strewn all over the course...on top of this there were super savvy tactics and the power to see it through for the other 2 road stages...even though I was on the other end, I respected the hell out of what they were doing...

So for the second time in one week, new members of the Hornet Hall of Fame, the entire Paul Tracy Team and sig... others, Paul, buy 'em each a case of Heinie's for that one... they deserve it!

Tomorrow, Kirsten Kotval, Chuck Collins, the Claw, Don Armstrong, Cat 1,2,3 women and last but not least Andrey Yarbrough.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dave Z and Kaylee

Ok, today I was already going to write about end of the season burn-out, and not to forget to count your blessings for just being healthy enough to ride... to many times we get caught up in racing and forget that we are really fortunate...

Then I read Stormin Norman Sr's (Mr Clean) blog and I get all charged up again... Story goes Z-man threw his bottle at the feed zone nailing little Kaylee, obviously upsetting her greatly. Z-man found out about it and promptly makes a phone call directly to Kaylee to apologize...

I can't imagine what it's like being Z around here trying to mind his own business and train. And for anyone who knows him, he's a bit off center in wit in the first place, and secondly tries to be somewhat reclusive. Yet when a mistake occurs he does the right thing and picks up the phone for a little local girl.

Dave, you know you have a ton of support around here, we all dig when you bury the Euro's in a prolog or TT, or for that matter wear yellow... but that is nothing compared to the phone call. As I tell my son, anyone can develop talent, but those who display class are the real deal's. The phone call is what did it for me, you are the real deal.

My newest entry in the Hornet Hall of Fame, Dave Z for doing the right thang! Good job and thanks for making my day! Damn, I'm really psyched about this one, can ya tell?


Thursday, August 9, 2007

Ok it's the blonde joke competition!

Before I get jumped on for this one... everyone knows I can take a verbal beating... so the jokes on you this time... and please feel free to send in your best blonde jokes... but remember keep the verbiage somewhat kid friendly, I don't want to tramatize the young cat 5's or anything...

I'll open the proceedings up with these...

> > A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
> > The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
> > and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
> > The husband said, "Who was that?"
> >
> > The wife said, "I don't know! It was some woman wanting to know if
> > the coast is clear."
> >

> > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
> >
> > "Is it mine?"
> >
> > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:- ,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-
> >
> > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
> > government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
> > was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
> > George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware "
> >
> >*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*: -.,_,.-:*?`?*:
> >
> >
> > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
> > ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
> > reported the crime.
> >
> > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
> > patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
> > the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
> > shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the
> > steps.
> >
> > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
> > possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
> > They send me a BLIND policeman."

Alright send em this way, I know you have good one's. P-man, you can even use a personal example, maybe start with "blonde with a beard..."

Good luck, Hornet

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Blistering descent!

Got up at the crack of dawn to do Little C.C. this morning... went into a fairly strong head wind... needless to say I was ready to go in the other direction by the end.

I was just going down minding my business, kind of zoning out when I decided to pedal. I thought my chain came off because nothing was happening, and I was probably doing 130 rpms... so I look down and my chain is on the big ring and the 11 cog... then I look at the computer and it reads 63mph and I wasn't even trying! I love tailwinds on descents. It's like a killer ride at Magic mountain or something...

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Motopacing the Geraldizer

Was on the Suzuki 650 DR Enduro yesterday coming home from the grind when I came upon Gerald Hunsaker on his Willier...

Had my brain bucket on when I yelled to him get behind me as I proceeded down the breakdown lane on Wasatch... He was game and went hard for a long time, then I slowed down and pulled next to him... guess he didn't know Hornet's like motorcycles too... anyway it was kinda cool how he blindly just followed some dude on a big purple and yellow beast and just dug deep...

So the next time you see Hunsaker tell him you know his secret to speed...

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Near death experience.

The Huntsville 100 was eventful to say the least...

Was trying to catch Zan at the turnaround going hard...signalled to the official by twirling my right hand in a circle to make sure... he did it back, then he began to yell at a car behind me to slow down, and indicated that I was going to pull a U-ee... I cornered fast and then a motorcycle passed me at about 60 just missing me by an inch, giving the official a coronary... I didn't really think about it because I was so focused on Zan, but on the drive home I got a bit freeked over it... so please make sure you ALWAYS do a quick check back over your shoulder, and another to oncoming traffic at turnarounds... I know it is common sense, but in the heat of a race...

It's great to have Zan back in form, he put on a clinic going at 1 mile in...Zan never makes excuses, always rides hard and is a model of class, he is a bikemissle, with the fajizzle, and one of my favorite dudes, with Porter and the crew, that is one formidable club... congrats Z2-man.

To the guy who Nascar-ed me today during my ride with the Claw, this bud isn't for you! Your diatribe about "lycra wearing pansy TdF wannabe's" was truely awe-inpiring, just get it straight, when referring to me- it's correctly stated "lycra wearing pansy TdF wannahornet" Jack. I truely hope I scared the bejesus out of you... By the way, side note... he was wearing some of those Sear's bought polyester pants that expand at the waist (I think they are called Sansibelt)... anyway guess it takes one to know one... let's see what to wear, since I can't wear my leather chaps on the ride, I'll just pick lycra shorts over my circa 1973 polyester trousers 9 times out of 10, ya think?

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Barloworld's Cox dies following surgery

This is sad... does Barloworld supply insurance for it's employee's (racers)... this is obviously job related... cycling is dangerous, obviously, here is another example that I was not familiar with...

Big up's to Robbie Hunter for financing his teammates surgery, but once again where was Barloworld? You can read about this here...