Before I get jumped on for this one... everyone knows I can take a verbal beating... so the jokes on you this time... and please feel free to send in your best blonde jokes... but remember keep the verbiage somewhat kid friendly, I don't want to tramatize the young cat 5's or anything...
I'll open the proceedings up with these...
> > A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
> > The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
> > and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
> > The husband said, "Who was that?"
> >
> > The wife said, "I don't know! It was some woman wanting to know if
> > the coast is clear."
> >
> > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
> >
> > "Is it mine?"
> >
> > `?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:- ,_,.-:*?`?*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*:-
> >
> > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
> > government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
> > was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision
> > George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware "
> >
> >*:-.,_,.-:*?`?*: -.,_,.-:*?`?*:
> >
> >
> > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
> > ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
> > reported the crime.
> >
> > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
> > patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
> > the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
> > shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the
> > steps.
> >
> > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
> > possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
> > They send me a BLIND policeman."
Alright send em this way, I know you have good one's. P-man, you can even use a personal example, maybe start with "blonde with a beard..."
Good luck, Hornet
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Damn! That was cold... Where's global warming when you need it.
How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer? Because of all the white-out on the monitor's screen.
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He
finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting
there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a
blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir,
I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you
should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional
weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No, .not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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