It started here...
and it ended about here...
'nough said?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Question
From time to time I am asked "will you go on a blind date"... to which I refer to my last one, which occured a few years back...
It started here...
and it ended about here...
'nough said?
It started here...
and it ended about here...
'nough said?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Od to Camp George
Did the 6th annual Canyon Bicycle Team Camp last week. It was pretty cool.
Several things stick out, Mike Pratt's generosity, Mark Miller's connections with excellent accomodations, good and plentiful nurishment... and of course the Claw's commitment to the team with the overall "oganization of motivation," the cool new guys on the team, Andre, Coop, Gary, Piotr, Sten-Q, and Tom, as well as the local vocal support wherever we rode, and of course how many CB'ers were already race ready for the serious accumulated efforts and milage, NIIIICCCCEEEEE...
I don't know who ordered the weather, but the luck of the Irish was on us (probably Hoov), we hit the window between the storms and had weather in the high 40's and low 50's, with a lot of sunshine.
Pratt had the new Benz limo in full display, man that thing is smooth as silk, and the post ride extra-cirricular's were even better!!! Here's to riding hard, the rockin' Elks and the slammin' Oasis... getting 3 hours of sleep with da true gamers... Mike, Rob, Andre, Gary, Tony, Karen, Zack and the fam...grass stains, push ups, low riding (I think I feel a breeze) and friendly locals... next time we will have to improve our card skills a tad... but our beverage consumption, and dance floor bow skills were on fo' sure.
To Mike, Claw and Mark, way to go amigo's, and to the rest of the team... thanks you guys (and our lovely national champ)...you are Hoover awesome!
Several things stick out, Mike Pratt's generosity, Mark Miller's connections with excellent accomodations, good and plentiful nurishment... and of course the Claw's commitment to the team with the overall "oganization of motivation," the cool new guys on the team, Andre, Coop, Gary, Piotr, Sten-Q, and Tom, as well as the local vocal support wherever we rode, and of course how many CB'ers were already race ready for the serious accumulated efforts and milage, NIIIICCCCEEEEE...
I don't know who ordered the weather, but the luck of the Irish was on us (probably Hoov), we hit the window between the storms and had weather in the high 40's and low 50's, with a lot of sunshine.
Pratt had the new Benz limo in full display, man that thing is smooth as silk, and the post ride extra-cirricular's were even better!!! Here's to riding hard, the rockin' Elks and the slammin' Oasis... getting 3 hours of sleep with da true gamers... Mike, Rob, Andre, Gary, Tony, Karen, Zack and the fam...grass stains, push ups, low riding (I think I feel a breeze) and friendly locals... next time we will have to improve our card skills a tad... but our beverage consumption, and dance floor bow skills were on fo' sure.
To Mike, Claw and Mark, way to go amigo's, and to the rest of the team... thanks you guys (and our lovely national champ)...you are Hoover awesome!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Georgie rules!
The Sandy Spin Queen just submitted this into the nest, I liked it so much I posted it, hope you like it too!
GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2008
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff "you" want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili... Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his tail will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the weanie. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge weanie!
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN! number , pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your tail. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'
GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2008
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff "you" want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili... Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his tail will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the weanie. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge weanie!
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN! number , pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your tail. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Friday, January 18, 2008
Bob
My friend Bob has no luck whatsoever, poor guy... read on mi amigo's...
Bob is a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family biz. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
ed note- las amiga's are mucho better at estate planning than los amigo's!
B-Horn
Bob is a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family biz. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
ed note- las amiga's are mucho better at estate planning than los amigo's!
B-Horn
Thursday, January 3, 2008
P-man called me out- so here are my five thangs
Cinco things you didn't know about me.
1. I am an illegal immigrant from New Hampshire
2. I am on the witness protection program, and serve as the organization's live spokesman for media relations.
3. I wear a toupe... on my chest.
4. I was once told to go out for indoor track... so I did of course, relying on pure talent without any training or coaching. My first race was in the bubble at UNH. I ran the 800 meters by sprinting the first 400 at 100% and dusting the field by 50 meters, then I subsequently hit the wall soon after, and got passed by the entire field as I jogged (more like flogged) the last 200 meters- to the roar of the crowd, my teammates and coaches.
5. I won the annual URI Air Band Competition with my buds by impersonating Dale Bozzio (the femme fatal blonde lead singer) of Missing Persons infront of a crowd of 2,500 **while wearing a mini shirt, stilleto pumps a blond wig, lots of paint and some well placed inserts (see Dale below) and at http://www.dalebozzio.org/dalecontents.html ... for two years after I heard, hey you were the guy...
Miss Julie would have been jealous of me fo' sure!
2008
New years resolutions that I think I can keep.
1. Bathe
2. Dry off
3. Shave
at least monthly...
I've got a feeling I can put these babies to task... most of the time. Oh yeah, and brush my tooth's, both of 'em! That's about it, I don't want to stress myself out like last year, when I committed to trying to think on a daily basis.
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