File this under "Creative Opportunistic Marketing Techniques"

This one's for you Rico!

Team Rico eats up the whole 'cross enchilada... in fact he not only eat's it up, he sleep's and dream's about it. One of his favorite things is the whole cowbell armada that shows up week to week to cheer the combatants on. Well here is the official "Cowbell Lady"... we'll see if we can get Matt Sadaharaoh-ran to enlist her.

Maybe Rico can find out where she got her hat, for Mrs Team Rico to dawn at races (and everywhere else) for that matter...got a feeling if she gets one, there may be a lot more little Team Rico's in the future...if ya know what I mean... don't get too exited Eric, hope you have a shower at Specialized so you can take a long cold one brother...

Bunnies that I dig

It got me!

It got my Em, it got my Ben, it came back and got 'em twice, it got the neighborhood... it got a lot of my vet's... but it didn't get me... it tried and it tried but no way... until last Wednesday, boom the nasty virus hit me like a runaway train I tell ya.

The doc said I probably had it longer, by the looks of it... worst sinus infection swelling up the nares she has ever seen, came post viral splurge of headaches and fun... oh yeah, on my way to the doc's office, opened up my sunglasses (had since college) and bang! The glasses split in two over the nose piece has I was placing the shades on my face, and yes, you guessed it! The sharpe shard of plastic hit me square in the right eye. I thought I got shot by 007! It scared the bejesus out of me... Needless to say I got a big gash across my cornea, BAM! Have 20- somethin' bad vision in my unlucky eye, but it should heal just fine by the weekend, gotta go back to bed... later... I'll try not to rip off my ear tonight. I must've really ticked off St. Pat last year...

Finally, directions that make sense

Reprinted from the Onion...

WASHINGTON, DC—Decrying needlessly confusing directions for the use and assembly of countless products, citizens across the nation are organizing advocacy groups to demand that American manufacturers simplify the instructions they place on packaging.

Above: A new and improved Kellogg's cereal box featuring clearer instructions.

"I'm a busy father of three," said Richard Graham of Chester, VA. "I don't have time to wade through all those words and confusing pictures on the box of flavored instant-oatmeal packets. Why can't I just get the bowl of hot oatmeal without going through so much trouble?" On behalf of dissatisfied consumers like Graham, the Washington-based activist group Citizens for Easier Instructions has delivered an ultimatum to corporations: Replace current directions with easier versions or face a consumer boycott.

"We demand that product manufacturers provide their customers with intuitive, easy-to-follow directions featuring larger pictures, color coding, shorter words, and no words at all where a letter, number or pictograph would suffice," CEI director Melanie Pruitt said Tuesday at a press conference kicking off the group's "Crusade For Clarity '99" campaign. "For too long, the people of America have stared blankly at monochromatic, densely printed lines of instructions on cans, bottles and boxes, straining to digest the elaborately worded directives. We say, 'no more.'"
Pruitt, who nets a six-figure salary as one of the country's top instruction-clarity advocates, then unveiled a large placard showing the multi-step instructions on a can of Chef Boyardee beef ravioli. "The first instruction, 'Empty contents into saucepan,' is only the first problem with this mind-bogglingly byzantine label," Pruitt said. "No clue is offered on how to retrieve these 'contents' from the hard, silvery shell surrounding them. In fact, our research staff has determined that a tool not included with the can is necessary." Moving further along the label, Pruitt noted additional directions which would pose comprehension problems for the average consumer: "'Stir occasionally until hot,' the label instructs. How often is 'occasionally'? If I only prepare ravioli 'occasionally,' should I not stir at all?"

Perhaps the label's most confusing factor, Pruitt said, was the existence of two separate series of instructions, depending on the heating device used. "The already-baffling 'Stir occasionally until hot' is not even properly identified as the final instruction in the stove-top-specific set of instructions before the text flows right into the second set, making the cook think that the next step in the preparation process is 'Microwave,'" Pruitt said. "The second set of instructions is even more paradoxical, demanding such tasks as, 'Stir once during heating,' despite the fact that the food product is heated in a microwave which ceases to function if it is opened to get at the food."

To avoid a consumer boycott, Pruitt recommended that the maker of Chef Boyardee print the words, "Requires can opener, saucepan, stove and electrical power" on the front of every label in large letters, and present the instructions in the form of pictographs showing a gender-neutral stick figure traveling sequentially through all the steps of preparation, from opening the can to emptying the product into the saucepan, all through the cooking process, transferring the contents from the saucepan to a serving dish, and finally consuming the food using appropriate utensils. "We believe the entire process can be rendered in as few as 22 pictographs, which could be large enough to be easily read if printed on the inside of the label," Pruitt said. "All that would be needed is an exterior instruction directing the preparer to remove the label and read the full, interior instruction set."

"Corporations that fail to respond to the changing needs of Americans will lose customers," she added. "We as a people no longer have the time or patience to read lines of text and struggle to decipher their meaning."

Manufacturer Procter & Gamble has already announced it will soon introduce new "EZ 2 Follow" instructions that will clearly spell out "even the simplest and most obvious of operations." The redesigned Old Spice aftershave lotion bottle, company representative Albert Conrad said, will feature explicit instructions regarding where and how to apply the lotion, as well as warnings not to drink Old Spice or use it as a marinade in cooking. Sheets included in other Procter & Gamble products will warn against eating Crisco straight from the can, squirting Vicks NyQuil into one's eyes, or re-using Tampax products. Many other corporations have already made moves toward similar changes based on the overwhelming number of questions and complaints they receive at their 800 numbers every day.

"I used to answer 30 to 40 calls a day from people asking what 'Apply liberally' meant," said Carla Enway, an operator for Coppertone. "My job has been a lot easier since we changed the bottle to read, "Spread a whole bunch all over everything but your eyes and mouth."

Hey it's Hainey in about 50 years...

Local hardman Lee Hainey has a big beard too, and rips it on the bicyclette, but he's just a young'un, wait till he grows up like this dude who retired when he was 97, got bored and went back to work at 99... and he has 17 kids!!! Man, if I had 17 kids I would have had a coronary at about the 11th one... here's the full tilt- read on...

Wed Mar 5, 11:47 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Already Britain's oldest employee, 101-year-old Buster Martin now aims to become the world's oldest marathon runner by completing the London Marathon and celebrating with a pint of beer and a cigarette.

Sprightly and bearded, he completed a half marathon at the weekend in five hours 13 minutes. The former Army physical training instructor works three days a week for a London plumbing firm and says he has trained for the April 13th race in his spare time. "I've said I'll attempt it," he told Reuters by telephone from his workplace at Pimlico Plumbers. "I haven't said I'll complete it. If I do make it, all the better. I hadn't thought of doing it before but someone asked me and the money goes to charity so why not?"

His sponsorship money will go to the Rhys Daniels Trust, which provides temporary accommodation for families of patients in specialist children's hospitals. Martin, who had 17 children and returned to work at the age of 99 saying he was bored after two years of retirement, would beat the previous record for world's oldest marathon runner by eight years."If I finish, I'll do what I always do and have a pint and a fag," he said. "People ask what is my secret but I haven't got one. They say fags and booze are bad for you -- but I'm still here, aren't I?"

(Reporting by Peter Apps, editing by Paul Casciato)

Ed note- key words kids- fags and booze, so I guess if you smoke, drink and use cool British slang, then you too will be running marathons when you are triple digits...

Help!

Don't know if I will make the crit this weekend, I am having a bit of trouble boarding my flight back from Nigeria...

Oh yeah, get a load out of the Airline "Blue Sky Aviation," I think not! It's more like Brown Hot Landing Strip Goin' Nowhere For A Spell Air... and worse yet the third one in keeps on eyeing me and he looks a tad hungry... I'm going to blast him with my CO2 cartridge if he comes at me (the Man Vs Wild dude has nothing on this Hornet)

Two days-two Hall of Famer's

Bart Gillespie, has a sweet write up on him in VeloNews, just follow this link http://www.velonews.com/article/73012/gillespie-emmett-win-intermountain-cup-opener

If you are one of the few who doesn't know Bart, here is the down and dirty...

• He goes 140lbs and puts out the watts of a race horse.
• He trains on his way to work and back, which he does throughout the year.
• He trains himself on feel, without the use of a HR monitor or wattage meter.
• He works full time at the VA Medical Center and treats the Vet's like he would treat his mother.
• He also teaches at the U.
• He is wicked awesome in all aspects of riding, cross, mt and road.
• He ripped to a 7th last year at the cross nat's when placed in a back row to start.
• He doesn't require any food or sleep (for you Sly).

And to top it off, as mentioned, he just had another nice spread in VeloNews for winning the Desert Rampage, way to go, and also to local Kathy Sherwin, 2nd place Women Pro's.... others represented well also, too many to mention, but two Canyon Boy's Scott Allen first in 30+ expert and Curt "gottabehip" Bates 2nd in Expert 40+....

Everyone raise a brew for Bart-mang, the 40hr+ working man's version of a nationally elite rider... To the Hornet Hall of Fame you go...

Bryson Perry is R.A.D.D.

Bryson rode with the team on Saturday. Bryson was one of the anchor's for Sienna last year. He has split off to form the R.A.D.D. racing team. Some of the crew are the recently pared-down G-Love, Mr Red Sox, Cameron "wheresHoffa-man," Mitch "Icantcallhimcopperanymore" Peterson and some fast dude from Mexico that lives in So-Cal.

R.A.D.D. stands for Racers Against Drugs & Doping, undoubtedly most appropriate on several fronts. The team was established to do more national races, which Bryson did a couple years back when he was with the Successful Living team.

Anyway, to put it mildly, Bryson showed so much class on Saturday with me personally, that not only am I a grande fanno now, but I'm placing him in the the Hornet Hall of Fame for his extrodinary unsolisited efforts to help another rider... Bryson is a great cyclist no doubt, but he's an even better person. Kudo's, also go out to teammates Andre the Giant, Coop, P-man the Claw and the rest of the Canyon Boy's for a worthy effort as well as the Porc crew for bringing it during the swell end of the day road fest...

Ed note- called Gardie while in Sadonna, and conveyed my thoughts about Bryson, and they were reiterated 10 fold, then asked the G-man about his weight loss "man I've got to try to keep up with these guys who are 15 years younger than me"... so the new Action Jackson is now a whooping 155lbs, my bet he'll be sub 150 by the end of the season, cause he's still got that excess mass in the pectoral region to drop...

You can be green, fiscally sound and patriotic, introducing the USS New York

Here SHE is, The USS New York (LPD 21), made from the World Trade Center ! The USS New York was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the WorldTrade Center. It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft. Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003 , 'those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence,' recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. 'It was a spiritual moment for everybody there.' Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the 'hair on my neck stood up.' 'It had a big meaning to it for all of us,' he said. 'They knocked us down, they can't keep us down. We're going to be back.' The ship's motto? 'Never Forget.'