See you at Wheeler this weekend

This is what true crossers look forward to all year, good weather... it should be kinda like this tooling up the hill... and don't forget your crampons...

Gardie and I will be dressed like those two world renowned cyclocross announcers from Greenland- Jdackt and Vrimbar the Vikings...they ARE our IDOLS! G-love wants to be Vrimbar on the right, in fact he has a bedspread just like Vrimbars coat at his pad in P.C....and I've heard an awesome man thong to match!

See ya there,

B-Horn

What a weekend!

Simply put- onehellavaweekend!

Met the legend of Sly Fox at cross... his blog is obviously the naddiest and he's even more coolio in person... Gardie and Miss Julie had a few good stories about him... and for some reason, I think there are probably a lot more stories out there about the dude.

The weather turned out to be awesome and the crowds for the first 1/2 of the races were mucho grande... some of the junior riders are absolutely a riot to watch... one dude was on a trials bike with pegs, and when he saw the crowd on the back side, would proceed to rip out at like 150 rpms... and get this- his knees were up near his chest.... goes to show-bike position is so over-rated.

The course was fast and everyone was flying through the back side at like MACH 8...

Got to take my girlfriend "Huge Relief" for a long ride and the Pat's squeeked out another win...

A weekend just doesn't get better than that...

L8er

2007 State Cross! Championships

Gotta tell ya, it was a lot of fun, I was exhausted after a day of announcing, but it was worth it, fortunately I work with the legend of G-Love, which makes it even that much better... here are some observations if you missed some of the races...

Men's A's- Bartmang G just let it rip from the beginning to take another title... he told G-Love before the race that he would need to keep it under control because he was going to the C Rica the next day.... pretty much looked like he was on form, for sure... Bryson "think I'll race for Canyon Bikes today" Perry solidified second spot not long into the race, and kept on trying to drill it, in an effort to reel in the mang'er to no avail, but big kudo's for the effort... Hardwood flew in from Cali at 4am Pac time to drill 3rd overall and take the 35+ A group, only to stagger off after the race like he was in a brawl with Mike Tyson, once again, another cyclocrosser delivering the goods on championship weekend regardless of the circumstances... to round out the top 5 we had Copper Peterson and Reed Wycoffifyouhaverobitussin with a never say die attitude, good on ya...

and...Ali "socks" Goulet who had a mechanical right off the bat and was sitting dead last, probably in a different zip code for the first few laps, to lay it down and catch 1/2 of the field... he ended up being one of the studs of the day...

Womens A's- The Sherwin took control early and stayed in deep space, there was a fight for the podium postions with Dr Kris Cross spinning away to second holding off T Pezz pushing a really big gear and eating up about 10 meters per stroke with Deuter Time not far behind, this was a great race with the womenfolk flying... and the Mistress did it with her Catholic School mini then had the energy to get the whip out (see real pics at the bottom of this blog in the SL Trib webblog... it's pretty cool)

Men's A 35+- once again Hardwood took it with Jonny "Give me more work" Gallagher taking a hard earned second after setting up the course and doing a ton of work all day, to round out the podium AJ Air Jordan, who crashed multiple times, looked painful, but he still finished while flashing the pearls... ed.note.- A-Train was ripping it up until all at once he pulled the plug... read in his blog he felt horrible and couldn't overcome it... prediction the Train will be on new high speed tracks next year, watch for him to be back in a big way, (I'm just one of many Art fans out there, no doubt).

Men's 45+- was a race with McWin taking charge from the gun and to Mc Win it a Mcgain, but it wasn't an easy ride for him, he looked like he was fighting the big lactic acid build... Killer Warsoki took second looking like he caught the virus from McWin and rounding out the top 3, yes the ever classy Chuck "Tom" Collins...

Juniors 15-18- will promote the law firm of Swenson, Lasky, Matthews and Cottle pretty quickly, look for all of these dudes in the future, they are all greased lightning greenies... Congrats on a great race that Mr Jackson and I really enjoyed covering...

Men's B's- Connor O'Leary wears a lot of sunscreen on his face... probably because he's Irish... the 1/2 pound of the white stuff doesn't do three things- 1. Slow him down. 2. Make him less cool, and 3. Do him any good, 'cause he goes so fast the sunlight can't catch him! Coming in second was the Hoove who did his best impression of a Spanish climber up every hill with Kelly Glenn of Contender rounding out the 3 spot.

Womens B's- had Jennie "in the house" Wade churnin' and burnin' to create a decent gap on hard charging Heather Gilbert and Christy "Casius" Clay... side note, I had to run up next to Christy to ask her what her name was because we wanted to announce her postions, a couple fans asked me if I was interviewing her while she was racing... I told them that "I was asking her what her HR and Watts were at the time"... I think they thought I was serious... big ups to Mother Theresa for making the trip all the way from the Cape de Cod to race... and do pretty well at that.

Men's 35+ B's- the story was simply Scott Allen showing up for the first time and carting Micholo Pratini around the course, lap after lap... only at the end to have both guys trying to push the other across the line first... Micholo was not going to let Scallen do all the work and not win... that is why I really dig my teammates, because they are... great crossmanship boys, that is what a team is all about...

Masters 55+- Roger "I am also a winning" Gillespie held off the Lew brothers for first...

Singlespeed- was absolutely one of the very best races... Jason "Sammy" Sagar (yeah, like the front man of Van-Halen) showed us why he IS the man... then Alex Rock shows up from nowhere with his gasoline suit on... yes, his gasoline suit (there is an old Pete Rose saying "love the sport hard and it will love you back... I would go through Hell in a gasoline suit to play"...well that is what the Rockstar did, and he would not be denied for the two spot and fought hard for the gold to no avail... this guy is lethal when locked and loaded and stormed through the race harder with each lap, Gardie and I went nuts! I heard Alex may go to the EU next year to race, I hope he does! Jess "the body" Dear was Revolutionary getting 3rd...

Men's C's -was a huge field and everyone went hard.. Mike "I'm not" Walkenhorst took another one, he will be upgrading quickly...

Junior boys 14 and under had another big field with 14 bikes that were loaned out by Canyon Bicycles of Draper... it was Curtis, Hoover and Duncan in that order.

and finally the Junior Girls had a good showing with Chelsey Layer rippin it up for the top spot.

Thanks to all the fans including one Marty Jemison showing his support... here is a really cool link from the SL Tribune Blog regarding the race with pics... and yes thats our own Stephen Chops Lewis commentating, he is quite articulate...good job man!

http://166.70.44.68/multimedia/2007/1110_cyclocross/index.html

B-Horn

Be there!

The Utah State Cyclocross Championships are this weekend at Wheeler Farm... I'm pretty sure that all the 'crossers will be there.... here is a shout out to all the rest of the roadies... be there to cheer these guys and gals on... they work their tails off and it's a lot of fun.

Bring the kids, fam, sig others and even your arch-enemies, but don't forget the cowbells! Here are two pic's to motivate you.

A pre cyclocross version of a dude we all know, and a hardcore psychocross version of what happens when you get the bug (hornet's use that term loosely)...

Before...

And after...

Hardwood has definately gotten stronger but I like the original uniform a lot more than the current team kit... nice belt!

Look forward to seeing you there...

B-Horn

Don't die, because this could happen to your loved ones!

*A lady died in January (2006), Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, it was then somewhere around $60.00.*A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here was the exchange:

*Family Member:* "I am calling to tell you she died in January."

*Citibank:* "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

*Family Member:* "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

* Citibank:* "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

*Family Member:* "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

*Citibank:* "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

*Family Member:* "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

*Citibank:* "Excuse me?"

*Family Member:* "Did you just get what I was telling you? The part about her being dead?"

*Citibank:* "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

*Supervisor gets on the phone:

*Family Member:* " I'm calling to tell you she died in January."

*Citibank:* "The account was never closed, late fees and charges still apply."

*Family Member:* "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

*Citibank:* (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?"

*Family Member:* "No, I'm her great nephew."(Lawyer info given)

*Citibank:* "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

*Family Member:* "Sure."(Fax number is given)

*After they get the fax:*Citibank:* "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help." ('cause Citibank clients don't die, every knows that! B.H.)

*Family Member:* "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care." (nice work F.M.)

*Citibank:* "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

*Family Member:* "Would you like her new billing address?"

*Citibank:* "That might help."

* Family Member:* " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

*Citibank:* "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

*Family Member:* "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Wow, sounds like we may need to get some info out to the troops manning the lines Citi!

B-Horn

Lance and Ashley, what?

Do, da, do, da, dum, dum, dum... hey maybe I'll text one of the Olsen twins and see if they might want to hook up, they're hotties... dum, dum, dum, dum... let's see which one is which... I like this one, Ashley huh... ok here goes... why am I nervous, I am Lance, how can she say no... dum, do dum, dum...


"Hey, Mary Kate... you are never going to believe this... Lance Armstrong just texted me and wants to hook up and hang in Manhattan tonight... I'm gonna go for it, I knew these sunglasses would make me look older, I'm glad I got you a pair too, I told you they would work! Hey, maybe Tiger Woods would go out with you, he's so cute... oh yeah he's married, hum, lets see who's available"... dum, dum, dum dum...

and that's how it all began...

B-Horn