Marek

I called the UCA Crit number yesterday and Nicole, Marek's wife answered.

Most racers probably know by now that Marek had a stroke. Man that hits home. I mean he is not old, and he is certainly not out of shape, and I don't see him chain smokin' Camel unfiltered cig's at the crits... so what gives?

Marek may not know this, but I owe a lot to him. I decided last year that I would like to try announcing Cyclo-Cross and Sadaharaohran said "give it a shot." I showed up for my first gig at RMR and Marek already had the C flight going. He had the mic, was announcing alone and needless to say was awesome... I, on the other hand, was just a tad bit better than stupendouly horrible. But, he kept on jumping in and giving me tips... by the end of the day I was alright... Not once did he even remotely make me feel like the chump I was, he just kept on adding great commentary that was pretty damn entertaining.

This year, it appears as if, not only with the crits, but also for the TT's, we are gaining even more momentum with larger fields in comparison to years past. Pretty impressive when you consider the weather hasn't really co-operated... No doubt Marek's guiding hand has had a lot to do with it. He's a pretty even keeled dude who has his act together to make sure the races go smoothly from start to finish. This is due to not only his enthusiasm for the sport, but also his keen business acumen.

At this time Marek's physical recovery is going quite well and has even made it out of SICU back to his casa on the bench. Nicole told me that he does enjoy visitor's and it will definately help speed his recovery. So let's all give back a little bit to a guy that helps make our training a lot more enjoyable...

So the Hornet is raising a full necked ice cold Grolsch for you brother Shon, I will visit early next week. And even more importanly you should know that everyone I have spoken to, all have you in their prayer's for a speedy and full recovery. We want to see your smiling face again soon, and I need you to hold me back at the TT's to keep my start legal, my track stands are lame at best!!!

Godspeed.

No it's not Johnny Damon

File this under "Creative Opportunistic Marketing Techniques"

This one's for you Rico!

Team Rico eats up the whole 'cross enchilada... in fact he not only eat's it up, he sleep's and dream's about it. One of his favorite things is the whole cowbell armada that shows up week to week to cheer the combatants on. Well here is the official "Cowbell Lady"... we'll see if we can get Matt Sadaharaoh-ran to enlist her.

Maybe Rico can find out where she got her hat, for Mrs Team Rico to dawn at races (and everywhere else) for that matter...got a feeling if she gets one, there may be a lot more little Team Rico's in the future...if ya know what I mean... don't get too exited Eric, hope you have a shower at Specialized so you can take a long cold one brother...

Bunnies that I dig

It got me!

It got my Em, it got my Ben, it came back and got 'em twice, it got the neighborhood... it got a lot of my vet's... but it didn't get me... it tried and it tried but no way... until last Wednesday, boom the nasty virus hit me like a runaway train I tell ya.

The doc said I probably had it longer, by the looks of it... worst sinus infection swelling up the nares she has ever seen, came post viral splurge of headaches and fun... oh yeah, on my way to the doc's office, opened up my sunglasses (had since college) and bang! The glasses split in two over the nose piece has I was placing the shades on my face, and yes, you guessed it! The sharpe shard of plastic hit me square in the right eye. I thought I got shot by 007! It scared the bejesus out of me... Needless to say I got a big gash across my cornea, BAM! Have 20- somethin' bad vision in my unlucky eye, but it should heal just fine by the weekend, gotta go back to bed... later... I'll try not to rip off my ear tonight. I must've really ticked off St. Pat last year...

Finally, directions that make sense

Reprinted from the Onion...

WASHINGTON, DC—Decrying needlessly confusing directions for the use and assembly of countless products, citizens across the nation are organizing advocacy groups to demand that American manufacturers simplify the instructions they place on packaging.

Above: A new and improved Kellogg's cereal box featuring clearer instructions.

"I'm a busy father of three," said Richard Graham of Chester, VA. "I don't have time to wade through all those words and confusing pictures on the box of flavored instant-oatmeal packets. Why can't I just get the bowl of hot oatmeal without going through so much trouble?" On behalf of dissatisfied consumers like Graham, the Washington-based activist group Citizens for Easier Instructions has delivered an ultimatum to corporations: Replace current directions with easier versions or face a consumer boycott.

"We demand that product manufacturers provide their customers with intuitive, easy-to-follow directions featuring larger pictures, color coding, shorter words, and no words at all where a letter, number or pictograph would suffice," CEI director Melanie Pruitt said Tuesday at a press conference kicking off the group's "Crusade For Clarity '99" campaign. "For too long, the people of America have stared blankly at monochromatic, densely printed lines of instructions on cans, bottles and boxes, straining to digest the elaborately worded directives. We say, 'no more.'"
Pruitt, who nets a six-figure salary as one of the country's top instruction-clarity advocates, then unveiled a large placard showing the multi-step instructions on a can of Chef Boyardee beef ravioli. "The first instruction, 'Empty contents into saucepan,' is only the first problem with this mind-bogglingly byzantine label," Pruitt said. "No clue is offered on how to retrieve these 'contents' from the hard, silvery shell surrounding them. In fact, our research staff has determined that a tool not included with the can is necessary." Moving further along the label, Pruitt noted additional directions which would pose comprehension problems for the average consumer: "'Stir occasionally until hot,' the label instructs. How often is 'occasionally'? If I only prepare ravioli 'occasionally,' should I not stir at all?"

Perhaps the label's most confusing factor, Pruitt said, was the existence of two separate series of instructions, depending on the heating device used. "The already-baffling 'Stir occasionally until hot' is not even properly identified as the final instruction in the stove-top-specific set of instructions before the text flows right into the second set, making the cook think that the next step in the preparation process is 'Microwave,'" Pruitt said. "The second set of instructions is even more paradoxical, demanding such tasks as, 'Stir once during heating,' despite the fact that the food product is heated in a microwave which ceases to function if it is opened to get at the food."

To avoid a consumer boycott, Pruitt recommended that the maker of Chef Boyardee print the words, "Requires can opener, saucepan, stove and electrical power" on the front of every label in large letters, and present the instructions in the form of pictographs showing a gender-neutral stick figure traveling sequentially through all the steps of preparation, from opening the can to emptying the product into the saucepan, all through the cooking process, transferring the contents from the saucepan to a serving dish, and finally consuming the food using appropriate utensils. "We believe the entire process can be rendered in as few as 22 pictographs, which could be large enough to be easily read if printed on the inside of the label," Pruitt said. "All that would be needed is an exterior instruction directing the preparer to remove the label and read the full, interior instruction set."

"Corporations that fail to respond to the changing needs of Americans will lose customers," she added. "We as a people no longer have the time or patience to read lines of text and struggle to decipher their meaning."

Manufacturer Procter & Gamble has already announced it will soon introduce new "EZ 2 Follow" instructions that will clearly spell out "even the simplest and most obvious of operations." The redesigned Old Spice aftershave lotion bottle, company representative Albert Conrad said, will feature explicit instructions regarding where and how to apply the lotion, as well as warnings not to drink Old Spice or use it as a marinade in cooking. Sheets included in other Procter & Gamble products will warn against eating Crisco straight from the can, squirting Vicks NyQuil into one's eyes, or re-using Tampax products. Many other corporations have already made moves toward similar changes based on the overwhelming number of questions and complaints they receive at their 800 numbers every day.

"I used to answer 30 to 40 calls a day from people asking what 'Apply liberally' meant," said Carla Enway, an operator for Coppertone. "My job has been a lot easier since we changed the bottle to read, "Spread a whole bunch all over everything but your eyes and mouth."